Letter 26

Hi Dad!
How are you? Can I ask you something? Why do adults especially parents have no respect for teenagers. I know they may think that the teenager goes into that phase where she thinks that all she says is right and all but when I sit and I think it over and don’t over react directly and I confront mom about it she gets mad when all I want is just a simple answer.
So yesterday morning, in the upstairs living room (in Muscat) everyone was waking up. Aya was there so was Kika, Marianne, Teta and me. Mom wakes up in the morning comes up and sits down between us. But she forgets to do her coffee. I don’t remember who she asked to go down and make it for her but Rasha told her to go do it herself (no in a mean way). I was in the middle of a conversation with Kika, I was telling her about something that happened last night and while I was talking I hear mom, Aya and Teta call my name: Syma, Syma, Syma, Syma… So naturally I ignored and hurried on with my story getting more and more annoyed by the second. You know we I’ve always had the bad habit to call a person whenever that person is in the middle of their conversation but recently I’ve been working so hard on that especially with mom because she gets pissed whenever I do that and I always get a lecture afterwards. So I got so pissed that at my last sentence I screamed at mum: “I’m in the middle of a conversation!” and I got up and went to do her fucking coffee. I would have done it with pleasure only if they would have stopped and noticed that the kid of the family could actually hold a conversation with someone without difficulty. And I am seriously not exaggerating.
So I shut up and swallowed my anger. But unfortunately that anger pestered me all day. And it wouldn’t leave me alone. So at night I took mom aside and asked her in a very gentle manner just to apologize to me. And she got mad. She turned her back to me and left. And she left me at the bottom of the stairs.
Why is it so goddamned hard for people to just apologize to people younger that they hurt? Yes I did get hurt. And up until now every time I see her I get mad and I just want to scream! What do I do now? Tomorrow’s New Year and I really want to start it well. But I will not summit to her and I will not apologize to something I have not done.
I’m about to burst out and flat out cry in front of everyone so I will leave you and go on with my business somewhere private.
Love you dad and I will always will
I need you right now…..
I miss you