lundi 29 mars 2010

Letter 37

Hi Dad!
How are you? I've been complaining a lot lately. I know and I'm extremely sorry about that. I tend to exaggerate, my life is really going well. I'm more focused on my creative side. I'm very interested in arts. Manly street artists. They don't abide to rules. And I'm more and more aware of the fashion around me. But i mostly like to create my own style. I'm getting so many ideas i want to do. Mostly crafts lately. I'm working on a series of sculptures, statues or whatever you wanna call them. And now I'm really into cool, vintage kind of retro rings and armored kind one. Why am i talking about this to you? You're a guy. I love you i have exams tomorrow so i'll write soon i promise.

jeudi 25 mars 2010

I love you

Letter 36

Hi Dad!
How are you? I’m pissed off and hurt. A really close friend of mine doesn’t even notice how much she hurts me. Many times she has. And every time I stood there, giving her excuses and swallowing my pain. But I can’t anymore and I have to tell her. But the thing is I don’t want to loose her as a friend. But when she takes credit for my ideas and doesn’t have the decency to mention my name when people come and tell her how amazing it is. When she actually asked me to draw for her a sample and then we both talked about ideas how we could do it. With colors splashes and paint, something we would do together she goes and do it alone, then posts it online without anything that indicates that I contributed, no I actually did a whole lot more than contribute. Or something even worse, I wrote a song. I created the beat all she did was put some dumb piano chords and she has the right to call it OUR song? What the hell did she do for it to be HER song? And I’m dumb enough to let her! Am I wrong? Should I just let it go?

A bit more that I couple of thousands kisses

I miss you

Your daughter that loves you, Dad

vendredi 19 mars 2010

My tattoo

Okay i look horrible in the picture all red and blochy. But lets ignore my face and focus on my tattoo (-. .. -. ---) cool no? i hope you like it.

PS: I'm sorry i didn't post it earlier. It must have slipped my mind.

Letter 35

Hi Dad!
How are you? I'm doing much better. I have an amazing set of friends. They are great. We go though everything together. But lately everyone is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. There is a lot of tears shed everyday. But we're all in this together. I'm have my exams next week and i intend to do great. But i need the vacation. Everyone needs it. I'm gonna make it through. If other people can why can't I? right? Why am i so stressed about my future? I'm gonna be great at whatever i choose. I'm sure of it. Or that's what i really hope. It's a good thing i have a family at my sides to help me steer my life in the right direction and help me take my decisions. Okay let's change the subject. I'm gone thinking of this matter for today.
You know what happened today? At noon mom received a bouquet of flowers for mothers day. But the funny part is the sender. You will never believe who it was. Supermarko. But the sad part about that was that it reminded me of you when you used to send us flowers at every occasion. I really miss that. I still hope sometimes the phone would ring at 8pm and it would be you asking about our day. I loved these habits.
That reminds me. Your music is the best. Now that I've grown a bit, and took a dislike to commercial music, I start to realize what the real definition of music is. The beatles, pink floyd, beegees, paul simon and many others. You have the wickedest CD collection. I hope i will be the one having it in my future home. Although i still wonder about the order in which you arranged them. You seemed to know exactly the place of every album. It was amazing.
I love you my daddy
I miss you so much it hurts
a thousand kisses for you

jeudi 11 mars 2010

Letter 34

Hi Dad!
How are you? I'm so tired. I can't sleep. And if i ever do manage to fall asleep i have disturbing dreams and nightmares. i wake up at least twice a night. I feel like a zombie. My body is all hyped up on vitamins, orange juice and nescafe but my mind is so numb that i still feel the drowsiness as if there is a cloud of smoke in my head. I just want to get away. I wish i could come and visit i miss you a bit too much. I can't handle it anymore. And the worst thing is that it's physically impossible for me to cry lately. It hurts, my tears aren't full and they're sticky and i really need to cry right now. I feel this pressure in my hole body and this weight that i can't hold any longer. I'm so tired. I feel like I'm being torn slowly apart limb by limb. I can't escape it. Not even when i listen to music, draw or paint. I created two great sculptures but still these feelings cling to me like glue. I want to escape. What do i do?
Your lost daughter that misses you so much.