Letter 58

Hi Dad!
How are you? I'm not so good. I'm feeling more and more like an outsider to both myself and the world. It may be because I'm PMSing but sill I feel like utter poop.
Here is an example, it's 4:20, I'm sitting on the floor in front of the front door of the house writing this letter on my iPod. Why? Because mum forgot to leave the key outside. Great no?
I feel kind of alone. First off, mum and I are alone at home. We have no maid, not that I'm complaining. But worst of all is Lyne. I miss her enormously. She's in Boston. So there aren't enough souls to converse with much... Seeing me and mum have different likes and dislikes it's getting much harder to get her attention. I can't blame her you know... Then there are my friends in school. Everyone changes, it's life. What can we do? I feel detached and can't find many things in common with y closest friends. With some it's a competition, others just boredom... That's where I start to doubt myself.
I havn't been in a good mood lately. To be honest, I haven't been my happy self for quite a long time. I'm tired all the time I'm losing patience with everyone too quickly... These are some examples. But it's like I don't eve understand myself anymore. When I'm around people at the beginning it's great but then I want to be alone then when I am it's soothing at first then after some time, I feel too alone. I need affection... Am I worth anyone's time?
I'm definitively PMSing... I promise next letter will be less depressing.
I miss you pap.
A number cannot represent how many kisses I'm showering you with.
Je t'aime plus que comme ca...