Letter 40

Hi Dad!
How are you? I feel used. But I'm not sure. Woah that sounds so pathetic. See I went out once, a few days ago with two of my friends. At some point during the night these two got a bit more than friendly and left me sitting there on my own. So I just brushed it off and walked around a bit and not too far. And a bit turned out to be longer than I expected. The whole night, to be more precise. But the idiot that I am I shut up and thought nothing of it. What was I supposed to do? I knew that they had a thing for each other for a while. Two days ago, we decided to go out again. The three of us. Everything was going fine seeing that I asked them to control themselves and to acknowledge my presence. But as the night dragged on everything went down hill again. And I was left alone. Again feeling like the third wheel. And just like the last time, I walked around the neighborhood and visited a bit farther. I looked at my watch and it turns out that I've been gone for more than 45 minutes. But guess what my friends don't really care that I wasn't present or anywhere to be found. They just went on with their business. 45 minutes. 45 goddamned minutes. And not one missed call or message. Well maybe that was a bit hard seeing that their phones weren't there (the guardian of the next building took both their phones thinking someone lost them. But he is great because when they realized that the music wasn't playing any more and panicked, he came up to them holding both phones and gave them back) they both looked at me and though I took the phones. What's worse is that they didn't even think of asking me where I've been for these 45 minutes. Really what was I doing there? was I supposed to keep watch on their stuff while they made out? Really?!?!?! What am I really to them? Am I being used? I really feel like I am. I am so lost. And mad. That was two days ago. And guess what? They didn’t call me to apologize. They knew how pissed off I was. And I still am. I actually sat with one of them in the taxi alone. Wasn’t that a good time to discuss what happened that night? I still can’t believe it. But what did I expect? I know her and she doesn’t care about anyone but herself.
And I miss you so much
Kisses
Your daughter that loves you