Letter 34

Hi Dad!
How are you? I'm so tired. I can't sleep. And if i ever do manage to fall asleep i have disturbing dreams and nightmares. i wake up at least twice a night. I feel like a zombie. My body is all hyped up on vitamins, orange juice and nescafe but my mind is so numb that i still feel the drowsiness as if there is a cloud of smoke in my head. I just want to get away. I wish i could come and visit i miss you a bit too much. I can't handle it anymore. And the worst thing is that it's physically impossible for me to cry lately. It hurts, my tears aren't full and they're sticky and i really need to cry right now. I feel this pressure in my hole body and this weight that i can't hold any longer. I'm so tired. I feel like I'm being torn slowly apart limb by limb. I can't escape it. Not even when i listen to music, draw or paint. I created two great sculptures but still these feelings cling to me like glue. I want to escape. What do i do?
Love
Kisses
Your lost daughter that misses you so much.