Hi Dad!
How are you? I’m extremely sorry I have disappeared and haven’t written anything for a long time but nothing major happened in these past few days… But now I'll tell you all about what happened.
Last week, Aya came from London and it was great because in the 10 days she spent in Lebanon I had vacation so I saw her a bit more but not as much as I would have preferred. She came for her exhibition. She exposed her video “The Eye” at The Raising Horse gallery. The place is amazing and has some peaces of art that are just marvelous. It’s great how in the bref time that Rasha spent here I actually discovered a lot of great artists. It’s really nice when she comes home.
Last Saturday, which is yesterday, I had my third MUN meeting. Up until now, these meetings haven’t reached my level of expectations. I find them a bit boring but what can I do? it’s an experience worth having but not something that I would do twice. Something else that really disappointed me was the way people spoke. When they explained to up at school about these meetings they said that it’s an opportunity for us to practice speaking the language. But up until now the only thing I practiced was my Arabic. Even the few students of LAU that I met have a weakness in the pronunciation of some words or the formation of a whole phrase. It’s really agonizing. Any way the courses are quite boring.
So there is one thing coming up that I’m quite excited about, well actually two things. Nine days till my 16th Birthday. (Now that I think about it there is actually 3 things worth a countdown) I’m have this dinner/dancing/singing thing with all of my friends at home. I really wish you could be there to celebrate by birthday, filming in the background, give me a hug. Just be there. I really miss you.
The second thing, is that I’m getting my tattoo done on Tuesday. It’s my Christmas/Birthday present. -. .. -. --- , that’s you. Nino. I’ve thought about it for a long time and I think I’m never going to regret it.
Third, it’s your birthday. I'll blow a candle for you. But, you won’t age, will you?
I’ve been depressed for quite a while now. I feel like I’m failing life. That’s I'll never grow to be some one strong. Any way I know you would come to be and tell me that that’s not true that I will become anyone I want to be. And try to explain to me otherwise. But I will look at you and tell you, “ yeah your right. Thanks.” But the feeling will remain. It’s been putting me down so much that now, I’m emotionally constipated. I can’t cry. The tears get stuck on my eyelashes because they’re sticky and they don’t sprint down my cheeks. It hurts but I just can’t. It’s that weird? it’s funny really. it’s been like a month maybe and I NEED TO CRY! but guess what? my body refuses. Am I lacking water? I don’t think so cause I’m peeing like a maniac. Ok you really didn’t need to know that.
So I say goodbye for now, and I promise to write soon.
I miss you extremely
Many many kisses
Your daughter that love you.
