Letter 76

 

Hi Dad!

How are you? I’m quite pissed off but mostly hurt. And the worst thing about it is that it’s mom that’s making me feel this mad. Yesterday, I went down with her to Beirut and stayed with her in the atelier. Then I went to have lunch with my friend. Before I leave she tells me that I’m coming back up with her because she doesn’t want me to take a cab. And without hesitating I said okay because I know how she feels about spending money on cab rides. So I hung out with my friend for less than an hour. Ok, never mind. Mum has cards at 3 and she’s been working a lot and needs to have fun.  That night I was supposed to go to a restaurant in Sahl Alma because some of my friends were supposed to play in a charity concert for the Children Cancer Center. I know it’s very far and mum asked me not to go because it would be a waste of money. I didn’t argue, even though I really wanted to go. On our way back, I remembered there was a shop near by how sells computer games and I’ve been dying to get a specific one. I called and they told me they had it. We were a bit more that 200m close to the store. But mum said no. She was going to be late for her 5 hour long card game. Pap, I know it seems like nothing but I’ve been complaining how much I feel alone when I’m at home. How I have nothing much to do. But no 10 minutes late to her precious card game is intolerable. Ma3leh if Syma has nothing to do. No one to talk to. No where to go. Fun isn’t it? The worst bit is that she doesn’t care one little bit about anything in my life. No that I want to go out of her way to sit next to me and ask about my day. I just want to feel like she cares, just a bit. It’s really starting to get to me.

Now is not a very good time in my life because I feel cheated in so many ways. Even though I’m trying to convince myself otherwise. Anyway, I love you pap.

I miss you everyday a bit more (Although you’d think you can’t miss someone anymore than you already do)

Xx

Letter 75

 

Hi Dad!

How are you?

You don’t know how much I miss you. I still wait for your calls you know…  I miss those time when you would blast the radio at home. Only you know the exact order in which you kept your CDs. Actually if you came now you probably wouldn’t. Sorry about that…

You know, Lyne and I actually spent a whole night at home rearranging them? We put them by alphabetical order. Yup! we did the impossible. Did you know you have around 500 CDs on those shelves? When we removed some, more would appear and it seemed like we didn’t remove a thing. You know my when they come over and look at that collection they admired it? One told me he wishes he could stay only to sift though them. Isn’t that great?

You know, I really miss the whole family. All five of us together. I really do.

I love you pap

Many kisses.

Symz

PS: I wasn’t trying to be depressing! Just reminiscing.

Letter 74

 

Hi Dad!

How are you? I miss you. I’m sitting alone in ABC. I couldn’t stay another minute at home. Now that Lyne’s in Muscat the house is seriously dead. Mom’s constantly at Dana’s working on a project for Paul in Gemmayze. A huge mosaic. It’s amazing. Seriously they’re working around 10 hours a day everyday. So I got a bit lonely this morning. Because I woke up at 9 and mom had already left. I called she was on her way to Batroun. For some reason I got really mad at her. I felt like I was abandoned. I know it’s not remotely true but that’s what I felt. So at around 3 I got depressed, bad. I called a cab and went to the atelier. I saw mom, Dana, Dalia and Nicole. I went then by foot to the ABC. And here I am. I feel a bit better being around people. Although, men at Lina’s are asphyxiating me with their cigars.

You would think that here at ABC, the poshest mall in lebanon, they would be well dressed people. Don’t get me wrong they’re a lot of well dressed people (mostly people from ages: 10 to 17 or 50 and above. And that are women). The men seriously do not know what to wear! I’ve seen weird shirts to last me a lifetime. At this point I wish they would trade theirs with those Hawaiian multi-colored tie-dye ones.

I spent the day with Minou yesterday. We had lunch at a Lebanese restaurant in Monot, a place called…. I have no idea. I don’t remember. It was good food although their Tabbouleh was a massive fail. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a good tabbouleh. Not many restaurants get them right. Too bad…

I love you pap.

Xxx

Symz

Letter 73

Hi Dad!

How are you? I’m sorry I’ve been neglecting you but I promise you haven't left my thoughts. I have loads to tell you. I just came back from Budapest! The school organized a 3 day trip with my whole grade. It was amazing really.

So general overview, the trip was very nice. The city was beautiful. But the people weren’t so welcoming. They were sort of angry. The food was not bad. Every meal was a soup, a dish and a desert. The Hotel was really nice. And the group, including the teachers, was extremely good company. I had the opportunity to see a different side of the people in my school.

Okay so Day 1:

I left the house at 12 AM on Friday arrived at school at  a quarter to one. Joined my class in the Pullman and went to the airport. The flight was okay most of us slept for an hour the rest we talked. We arrived at 6 in the morning in Budapest.

We went strait to a restaurant and had a traditional Hungarian breakfast. Then we went to a market. It wasn’t that great, half of it was closed because of the early hour.

After that we directly started the tourism. We saw the Buda Castle which was extraordinary. The details in the sculptures  are incredible. Then we saw the Parliament which was a beautiful building. We visited 2 cathedrals. Everything was really amazing. After that we had lunch at a classy restaurant next door to the ex-president so everyone kept shushing us every time we spoke to each other. But whatever it didn’t stop us from having fun.

Then we were so tired we went to the hotel. Unpacked, rested and got ready. I had a single room all to myself which was ideal. At night was had dinner at a restaurant, the owner was actually pretty cool. We then tried going into pubs but they were either fully reserved, boring or for over 18 only. So we ended up at a pub called Juicy Cactus (or something like that). The Music was cheesy and it was mostly empty. But still we danced and had fun.

Then it was back to the hotel at that point no one could open their eyes. We all went to bed at around 3 in the morning.

Day 2:

We woke up at 8:30, had breakfast at the hotel then off to another full day. Personally it was my favorite day. I had loads of fun. So after breakfast we went to the Szechenyi Bath in Pest. It’s a natural  thermal pool.  Pap, the water is at 37 degrees. It took some time for me to get used to it and be able to go in. We all swam and took many pictures. After the bath we visited the Heroes Square. We took a lot of pictures. Then we had lunch.

After that we went to a sort of ranch an hour from Budapest. They apparently had 120 horses, 20 ponies and white cows with those extremely long horns. We tasted a salty cake with a shot of apricot alcohol. We all choked, it was so strong. Then we took a ride around the area in a carriage pulled by horses. We were divided in 3 carriages. It was going slow so we decided to silently get down and walk behind it. We all went down and the hoe decided to run so we were all chasing the carriage and we were laughing so hard. Then, the owners and the caretakers prepared a show.  A tradition in the Hungarian history. It’s a sort of a competition. It was really nice and impressive. For example, there was a guy that rode 5 horses without any saddle, he was standing on 2 horses and was going really fast. I don’t know how to explain but I’ll post some pictures. And I’ll see if I can post a video for you. Then they showed how the trained the horses to sit like a dog and lay them down on the ground and lie on top of them. It was impressive.

Then we had dinner, there was a live band. It was okay. Then we returned to the hotel. It was a long ride so everyone fell asleep in the bus. At the hotel we rested, got ready, had dinner and went out to the same pub we went to the day before. It was crowded and some people drank a bit too much. But it didn’t ruin the night. We ate at McDonald’s then went back to the hotel and slept.

Day 3, yesterday:

We woke up at 7:30. Yes it was the hardest thing we did during this whole trip. We packed our bags, and had breakfast. Then left to see a small castle, with a killer view of Budapest. Then we had lunch and then went to a mall. Yeah, a mall, because everyone wanted to go shopping even though we had exactly all the same stored here. But whatever it wasn’t all a waste. There was a show in the middle of the mall. A complete dance performance with a big group. It was very nice. Then we had dinner. After to waste time we went to visit the liberation monument on top of a hill. We had a few laughs and then we went to the airport and back to Beirut.

So there you go, that was my whole trip. Three full days of walking, laughing, taking 4 GB worth of pictures and collecting blisters. But it was what I needed. A change in the routine. And I socialized with a lot of people.

And I wish you were here because I miss you so much.

I love you dad.

Your Sasouma

Letter 72

Hi Dad!

How are you? I’ve been better. Now it’s sinking in. The friends whom I thought were really there for actually were just figurines, illusions. I think what hurts me the most, is the fact that I still hoped, right to the end that they cared about me enough to make an effort to patch things up again.

I sort of makes me doubt friendship. At least I know and from a long time ago that it doesn’t last. And I learned that you shouldn't trust or give too much to a person. That way you don’t get hurt. Out of all the friends I had a fallout with, I think this time was the most painful. But it’s for the best. At least I witnessed the complete face of the people that I called my best friends. So that's amazing closure. I can swallow the whole thing much better knowing who they really were.

Anyway, I love you pap.

I miss you so much.

Symzette

Xx

PS: I dyed streaks pink, like I did in summer 2 years ago but it's more discreet seeing that my school does not approve. But so far they didn’t tell me anything… yet.

Letter 71

Hi Dad! how are you? I’m at school now, we were supposed to present our project but the teachers bailed… Ironic right? So now we’re hanging out. I have a history test the next period.. I’m starting to stress a bit… The teacher has it in or me for some reason… She hates me and I think today at lunch I made it worse.
So I was talking to my friend about our report card (btw my grades are pretty good) and I was telling her how all my grades were above the average except in History and my excuse was ïnno c’est Mme Kik!”And guess who was right next to me? Yup you got it.
But seriously the next time she uses me to let out all of her frustrations, I’m going to talk to her because, I really can’t take anymore of her crap. So I’m going to stand up for myself… Yes I’m quite the revolutionary…
Anyways, I love you so much!
Many many kisses
xxx

letter 70

Hi Dad!
How are you? I miss you so much! Pap my friends threw me a surprise party yesterday night! it was amazing! I had now idea!
So that night I was supposed to go to have dinner with Fleur at ABC at 8. So Lynno said that she would drop me and have a drink with her friends while waiting for me. So before going to Ashrafiyeh, we stop to a dekken to get chips. Then we continue down to Mkalles. At that point,  mum calls to tell Lynno that fleur “cancelled” her dinner. So we drive back up to Broumana and on the way we stopped by the DVD shop. Then Lynno said she wanted kebbeh la2teen to we drove (for the second time) to Gout Frais. But Gout Frais was closed then Lynno wanted Falefel but then out of the blue she bailed and we drove back home. We arrived and I was trying to cheer up lynno by saying that we were going to watch movies all night right? So I look at the salon and see on the table 3 candles and a bowl of nuts. My first thought was,”ok… mum wants to kanken while watching the movies”and I turn in the salon and “SURPRISE!”I see around 25 people standing near the dining table at the end of the salon.
It was great! And I had fun until everyone left at around past two.
It was really amazing I had tons of fun.
I wish you were there…
Many kisses
I love to the point that the whole universe does not compare to it’s vastness.
Xxx