Letter 76

 

Hi Dad!

How are you? I’m quite pissed off but mostly hurt. And the worst thing about it is that it’s mom that’s making me feel this mad. Yesterday, I went down with her to Beirut and stayed with her in the atelier. Then I went to have lunch with my friend. Before I leave she tells me that I’m coming back up with her because she doesn’t want me to take a cab. And without hesitating I said okay because I know how she feels about spending money on cab rides. So I hung out with my friend for less than an hour. Ok, never mind. Mum has cards at 3 and she’s been working a lot and needs to have fun.  That night I was supposed to go to a restaurant in Sahl Alma because some of my friends were supposed to play in a charity concert for the Children Cancer Center. I know it’s very far and mum asked me not to go because it would be a waste of money. I didn’t argue, even though I really wanted to go. On our way back, I remembered there was a shop near by how sells computer games and I’ve been dying to get a specific one. I called and they told me they had it. We were a bit more that 200m close to the store. But mum said no. She was going to be late for her 5 hour long card game. Pap, I know it seems like nothing but I’ve been complaining how much I feel alone when I’m at home. How I have nothing much to do. But no 10 minutes late to her precious card game is intolerable. Ma3leh if Syma has nothing to do. No one to talk to. No where to go. Fun isn’t it? The worst bit is that she doesn’t care one little bit about anything in my life. No that I want to go out of her way to sit next to me and ask about my day. I just want to feel like she cares, just a bit. It’s really starting to get to me.

Now is not a very good time in my life because I feel cheated in so many ways. Even though I’m trying to convince myself otherwise. Anyway, I love you pap.

I miss you everyday a bit more (Although you’d think you can’t miss someone anymore than you already do)

Xx

Letter 75

 

Hi Dad!

How are you?

You don’t know how much I miss you. I still wait for your calls you know…  I miss those time when you would blast the radio at home. Only you know the exact order in which you kept your CDs. Actually if you came now you probably wouldn’t. Sorry about that…

You know, Lyne and I actually spent a whole night at home rearranging them? We put them by alphabetical order. Yup! we did the impossible. Did you know you have around 500 CDs on those shelves? When we removed some, more would appear and it seemed like we didn’t remove a thing. You know my when they come over and look at that collection they admired it? One told me he wishes he could stay only to sift though them. Isn’t that great?

You know, I really miss the whole family. All five of us together. I really do.

I love you pap

Many kisses.

Symz

PS: I wasn’t trying to be depressing! Just reminiscing.

Letter 74

 

Hi Dad!

How are you? I miss you. I’m sitting alone in ABC. I couldn’t stay another minute at home. Now that Lyne’s in Muscat the house is seriously dead. Mom’s constantly at Dana’s working on a project for Paul in Gemmayze. A huge mosaic. It’s amazing. Seriously they’re working around 10 hours a day everyday. So I got a bit lonely this morning. Because I woke up at 9 and mom had already left. I called she was on her way to Batroun. For some reason I got really mad at her. I felt like I was abandoned. I know it’s not remotely true but that’s what I felt. So at around 3 I got depressed, bad. I called a cab and went to the atelier. I saw mom, Dana, Dalia and Nicole. I went then by foot to the ABC. And here I am. I feel a bit better being around people. Although, men at Lina’s are asphyxiating me with their cigars.

You would think that here at ABC, the poshest mall in lebanon, they would be well dressed people. Don’t get me wrong they’re a lot of well dressed people (mostly people from ages: 10 to 17 or 50 and above. And that are women). The men seriously do not know what to wear! I’ve seen weird shirts to last me a lifetime. At this point I wish they would trade theirs with those Hawaiian multi-colored tie-dye ones.

I spent the day with Minou yesterday. We had lunch at a Lebanese restaurant in Monot, a place called…. I have no idea. I don’t remember. It was good food although their Tabbouleh was a massive fail. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a good tabbouleh. Not many restaurants get them right. Too bad…

I love you pap.

Xxx

Symz