samedi 12 juin 2010

letter 49

Hi Dad!
How are you? I'm fine. I'm mostly ticked off because of mom.
For a long time now I'm just uninteresting. She doesn't listen to me. Weather I'm telling her a joke or telling her who called in her absence. I have to call her name at least 5 times for her to hear me (and that's when she's not busy with something). Or i have to repeat myself twice or three times for her to actually listen. Sometimes while I'm talking to her and she's kinda listening she turns and goes off i don't know where or starts a conversation with someone. When I talked to her about it she confessed that it was true but she told me that she has a lot on her mind and that every time she's with her friends she has to fake a smile and seem interested in what they're saying and that when she's with me she feels like she doesn't have to force herself. Really i understand. Sometimes I'm like that. But i don't shut out one person! And not for that long. She could at least give me two minutes of her time to acknowledge me. After a while I started to feel like i was boring and uninteresting. I know |I'm the youngest one in the family and that i haven't got the knowledge to entertain adults. I know we don't share the same interests or tastes. But when she talk to me about Batroun or decoration I force myself to listen. Do you think i like talking about the bulb that's going to be hanging in that specific light in the second bathroom? No but i go with her on it because i know she's excited to finish that house. The worst thing is when she asks my opinion but doesn't wait for my answer. THAT hurts. I'm young but not to that point. I'm able to know is blue is better than red or is that pattern is nice than the other.
I feel like a mosquito.
Now she's giving me the silent treatment. Lunch was pitiful. All you could hear was the clang of knife and fork on the plates and Gia meowing (she's en chaleur).
I'm waiting impatiently for summer to give her an excuse to ignore me.
I love you my daddy
I miss you so so much

jeudi 10 juin 2010

Letter 48

Hi Dad!
How are you? I'm managing. I have my exams now so I'm studying most of the time or else everything is  not bad. I haven't been sleeping very well these past few weeks but it's okay. I'm having weird dreams that I don't mind much. Actually they're quite interesting. I get to feel and to see my reactions to different situations and I'm learning more and more about myself. I'm not really going to tell you what my dreams are because some of them are quite horrid.
But yesterday night night was the worst. Not because of a dream but because of a damned spider. So i wake up at 2:30 am when i felt something walking across my arm. I open my eyes and the first reaction was to check under my pillows and covers but I found nothing. So I said to myself that I must have dreamt it or something so i decide to go back to sleep. But guess what? that doesn't work. Why you ask? Because I knew that a spider had walked on my arm. So i decided to go sleep next to mum. I end up falling asleep for about an hour. At 5:30 I get out of bed out of boredom and decide to get ready early for school, you know "review a bit" for french before going to school (as if that was gonna happen at 5am) So I head to the bathroom to fix my hair. And what falls out of it? You guessed it! The damned spider. Great thing to experience (for the second time I might add) So all my stress for the next exam was replaced by hysteria and fear. And that was my morning.
If you're wondering about how i did my exam, well i did okay, you can't say for sure when i comes to french. When you feel like you flunked it, it turns out you get the highest grade of the whole year (and vice versa in that matter). But or else i got pretty much like everyone else so that's a good sign.
I miss you too much i even hurts.
I think about you everyday.
Love you mon papi adoré!

mardi 8 juin 2010