Hi Dad!
How are you? I'm fine. I'm mostly ticked off because of mom.
For a long time now I'm just uninteresting. She doesn't listen to me. Weather I'm telling her a joke or telling her who called in her absence. I have to call her name at least 5 times for her to hear me (and that's when she's not busy with something). Or i have to repeat myself twice or three times for her to actually listen. Sometimes while I'm talking to her and she's kinda listening she turns and goes off i don't know where or starts a conversation with someone. When I talked to her about it she confessed that it was true but she told me that she has a lot on her mind and that every time she's with her friends she has to fake a smile and seem interested in what they're saying and that when she's with me she feels like she doesn't have to force herself. Really i understand. Sometimes I'm like that. But i don't shut out one person! And not for that long. She could at least give me two minutes of her time to acknowledge me. After a while I started to feel like i was boring and uninteresting. I know |I'm the youngest one in the family and that i haven't got the knowledge to entertain adults. I know we don't share the same interests or tastes. But when she talk to me about Batroun or decoration I force myself to listen. Do you think i like talking about the bulb that's going to be hanging in that specific light in the second bathroom? No but i go with her on it because i know she's excited to finish that house. The worst thing is when she asks my opinion but doesn't wait for my answer. THAT hurts. I'm young but not to that point. I'm able to know is blue is better than red or is that pattern is nice than the other.
I feel like a mosquito.
Now she's giving me the silent treatment. Lunch was pitiful. All you could hear was the clang of knife and fork on the plates and Gia meowing (she's en chaleur).
I'm waiting impatiently for summer to give her an excuse to ignore me.
Anyway,
I love you my daddy
I miss you so so much
Kisses
Symz
samedi 12 juin 2010
jeudi 10 juin 2010
Letter 48
Hi Dad!
How are you? I'm managing. I have my exams now so I'm studying most of the time or else everything is not bad. I haven't been sleeping very well these past few weeks but it's okay. I'm having weird dreams that I don't mind much. Actually they're quite interesting. I get to feel and to see my reactions to different situations and I'm learning more and more about myself. I'm not really going to tell you what my dreams are because some of them are quite horrid.
But yesterday night night was the worst. Not because of a dream but because of a damned spider. So i wake up at 2:30 am when i felt something walking across my arm. I open my eyes and the first reaction was to check under my pillows and covers but I found nothing. So I said to myself that I must have dreamt it or something so i decide to go back to sleep. But guess what? that doesn't work. Why you ask? Because I knew that a spider had walked on my arm. So i decided to go sleep next to mum. I end up falling asleep for about an hour. At 5:30 I get out of bed out of boredom and decide to get ready early for school, you know "review a bit" for french before going to school (as if that was gonna happen at 5am) So I head to the bathroom to fix my hair. And what falls out of it? You guessed it! The damned spider. Great thing to experience (for the second time I might add) So all my stress for the next exam was replaced by hysteria and fear. And that was my morning.
If you're wondering about how i did my exam, well i did okay, you can't say for sure when i comes to french. When you feel like you flunked it, it turns out you get the highest grade of the whole year (and vice versa in that matter). But or else i got pretty much like everyone else so that's a good sign.
I miss you too much i even hurts.
I think about you everyday.
Love you mon papi adoré!
How are you? I'm managing. I have my exams now so I'm studying most of the time or else everything is not bad. I haven't been sleeping very well these past few weeks but it's okay. I'm having weird dreams that I don't mind much. Actually they're quite interesting. I get to feel and to see my reactions to different situations and I'm learning more and more about myself. I'm not really going to tell you what my dreams are because some of them are quite horrid.
But yesterday night night was the worst. Not because of a dream but because of a damned spider. So i wake up at 2:30 am when i felt something walking across my arm. I open my eyes and the first reaction was to check under my pillows and covers but I found nothing. So I said to myself that I must have dreamt it or something so i decide to go back to sleep. But guess what? that doesn't work. Why you ask? Because I knew that a spider had walked on my arm. So i decided to go sleep next to mum. I end up falling asleep for about an hour. At 5:30 I get out of bed out of boredom and decide to get ready early for school, you know "review a bit" for french before going to school (as if that was gonna happen at 5am) So I head to the bathroom to fix my hair. And what falls out of it? You guessed it! The damned spider. Great thing to experience (for the second time I might add) So all my stress for the next exam was replaced by hysteria and fear. And that was my morning.
If you're wondering about how i did my exam, well i did okay, you can't say for sure when i comes to french. When you feel like you flunked it, it turns out you get the highest grade of the whole year (and vice versa in that matter). But or else i got pretty much like everyone else so that's a good sign.
I miss you too much i even hurts.
I think about you everyday.
Love you mon papi adoré!
mardi 8 juin 2010
mardi 25 mai 2010
Letter 47
Hi Dad!
How are you? I'm sorry I haven't been writing much lately... I've been busy with my own thoughts. But everything is just fine. Really. I feel good. Today I enjoyed being alone at home. I really like it sometimes, being alone, not caring about anything and just doing what i felt like. But i had some school stuff to do. Like my french essay took some time. The plan for it took 5 pages and thank god that we didn't have to write the whole thing. It would have taken ages to finish.
I realized something two days ago. I don't think it's a very good thing, but I don't really enjoy the company of people my own age (but don't take me wrong there are a few exceptions to this). But really I dread hanging out with some of the people in my grade. All my friends are somewhat older than me. I think it's because of me being the youngest. I've always been circled with older people that always taught me stuff and talked to me about more grown up topics. I got used to it hence me being bored around people with less mature conversations and interest. But I do feel sometimes like all I do is learn and never be the one spreading information. I've always been the one listening never the one listened to. I may be generalizing a lot and exaggerating. But what can I do? it's just a feeling i have. Don't get me wrong i love learning new stuff from the family and all. Really I'm really grateful for it. And i wouldn't want it any other way.
Love you dad!
I miss you a ton.
Kisses from your Sasouma
How are you? I'm sorry I haven't been writing much lately... I've been busy with my own thoughts. But everything is just fine. Really. I feel good. Today I enjoyed being alone at home. I really like it sometimes, being alone, not caring about anything and just doing what i felt like. But i had some school stuff to do. Like my french essay took some time. The plan for it took 5 pages and thank god that we didn't have to write the whole thing. It would have taken ages to finish.
I realized something two days ago. I don't think it's a very good thing, but I don't really enjoy the company of people my own age (but don't take me wrong there are a few exceptions to this). But really I dread hanging out with some of the people in my grade. All my friends are somewhat older than me. I think it's because of me being the youngest. I've always been circled with older people that always taught me stuff and talked to me about more grown up topics. I got used to it hence me being bored around people with less mature conversations and interest. But I do feel sometimes like all I do is learn and never be the one spreading information. I've always been the one listening never the one listened to. I may be generalizing a lot and exaggerating. But what can I do? it's just a feeling i have. Don't get me wrong i love learning new stuff from the family and all. Really I'm really grateful for it. And i wouldn't want it any other way.
Love you dad!
I miss you a ton.
Kisses from your Sasouma
samedi 15 mai 2010
Memory
You remember all the times you played music in the salon? I was too young to appreciate the value of your choice of music. Now i listen back to the CDs and think "woah! That's called good music". I wish you were here to play that music again.
Letter 46
Hey Dad!
How are you? I'm good. I have a busy weekend. I love it when i feel like I am doing something with my life. Yesterday I organized a dinner at home with some friends. We were 8. We had so much fun. Really. We talked and laughed and listened to music... It was perfect. Just what I needed to relax.
Today Lynno and me decided we were gonna spend the day together. We first went to souk el tayyeb and had orange juice. Then we walked in Saifi Village. We window shopped. I saw in one shop a Lomography camera that looked so cool. I really like these cameras they're so funky. There is one called the fish eyed. The lens is very curved so the picture comes out as if you're looking though that hole in the entrance door to see who is standing outside. But unfortunately in Lebanon it's extremely expensive. It's getting really annoying the prices. It's not normal. For example in america you can find a book for 4$ here the minimum is 8$ (and that's even rare). A simple bracelet is about 50 dollars. Why? Really... But what can you do?
Tonight it's the opening of my friend's dad's pub for people our age. So there are two bands playing and everyone is going and i can't wait.
Tomorrow i have to wake up at 6 (again) because i have to be at 7 in tayyouneh to go to chaka clean a beach and a forest. It's a project from school like community service. But we have to document the outing. So we decided that we were gonna make a video report. We're gonna interview the people that are going to be there. It's the AFDC that are organizing the whole thing. Apparently there is a group of scouts that are going to be there and people are going to do speeches. So i think it's going to be quite fun (Apart from the waking up at 6 bit).
I love you daddy
I miss the heck out of your keresh
Kisses from your youngest daughter.
How are you? I'm good. I have a busy weekend. I love it when i feel like I am doing something with my life. Yesterday I organized a dinner at home with some friends. We were 8. We had so much fun. Really. We talked and laughed and listened to music... It was perfect. Just what I needed to relax.
Today Lynno and me decided we were gonna spend the day together. We first went to souk el tayyeb and had orange juice. Then we walked in Saifi Village. We window shopped. I saw in one shop a Lomography camera that looked so cool. I really like these cameras they're so funky. There is one called the fish eyed. The lens is very curved so the picture comes out as if you're looking though that hole in the entrance door to see who is standing outside. But unfortunately in Lebanon it's extremely expensive. It's getting really annoying the prices. It's not normal. For example in america you can find a book for 4$ here the minimum is 8$ (and that's even rare). A simple bracelet is about 50 dollars. Why? Really... But what can you do?
Tonight it's the opening of my friend's dad's pub for people our age. So there are two bands playing and everyone is going and i can't wait.
Tomorrow i have to wake up at 6 (again) because i have to be at 7 in tayyouneh to go to chaka clean a beach and a forest. It's a project from school like community service. But we have to document the outing. So we decided that we were gonna make a video report. We're gonna interview the people that are going to be there. It's the AFDC that are organizing the whole thing. Apparently there is a group of scouts that are going to be there and people are going to do speeches. So i think it's going to be quite fun (Apart from the waking up at 6 bit).
I love you daddy
I miss the heck out of your keresh
Kisses from your youngest daughter.
lundi 10 mai 2010
Letter 45
Hey Dad!
How are you? I just got back from Syria. I'm exhausted. But it was nice to visit again. Mum and me went with Myriam, Nour and Malek together. All of us in the same car. Really mom and Malek were sitting in front next to the driver. Myriam, Nour and me in the back. Oh i forgot to mention we were in a small car. But it was quite quick. Before arriving to the border, we stopped at a restaurant to have breakfast seeing we woke up at 6 and left at 7. And before leaving we checked the toilets. And you can't imagine how discusting it was. Poop everywhere. A chinese man while going out of the stall he flushed and it overflowed and shit was everywhere. It was horrible. Worse than a horror movie. So we left. We arrived in Syria and the taxicab dropped of off in the middle of the square and left. We barely arrived and we were already lost. We walked around asking people were the hotel was and each person we asked they gave us different directions. Like Tweedledee and Tweedledum from Alice in wonderland. We finally arrived there and discovered the Angelina Jolie and Bratt Pitt went to that same hotel the Shumans were staying at. Mum and me were scheduled to sleep at the house. We then met up with Minou at her hotel we drank a coffee and then hop we started walking. In my entire life i have NEVER walked so much. And even the most comfortable shoes (in this case Converse and Birkenstock) gave us all blisters. But it was nice to see the old souk and all the kind of kiosks. It was really nice. By the end of the day we were exhausted. Mum and me decided that we were going to sleep in Minou's hotel room. Her single's room to be more precise.
The second day we woke up in hysterics. In the hotel room there was two beds stuck together. Minou slept in one, Mom in the other and me? In the middle. I woke up i couldn't move my butt. Mom took one glance at me and she burst out laughing. Minou then woke up and had the exact same reaction. Why? I was stuck in between the two beds and my side was touching the floor. But what's really surprising was that i was extremely comfortable. The rest of the matinee was all formalities and walking from one office to the other. I would tell you exactly where we when to do what but i have absolutely not a single idea. Then when we finished at around 1 thirty we met up with the Shumans. We had lunch at Mona Lisa. Your grandparent's home. It was nice. A lot of the time I thought of you. You would have loved being with us. So the main reason we went there was for the damned formalities that didn't finish on Sunday (we left Broumana Saturday were supposed to be back the day the followed) so mum and me stayed until Monday. But ironically up nothing is done. But what ever.
I love you
Kisses
I miss you extremely
How are you? I just got back from Syria. I'm exhausted. But it was nice to visit again. Mum and me went with Myriam, Nour and Malek together. All of us in the same car. Really mom and Malek were sitting in front next to the driver. Myriam, Nour and me in the back. Oh i forgot to mention we were in a small car. But it was quite quick. Before arriving to the border, we stopped at a restaurant to have breakfast seeing we woke up at 6 and left at 7. And before leaving we checked the toilets. And you can't imagine how discusting it was. Poop everywhere. A chinese man while going out of the stall he flushed and it overflowed and shit was everywhere. It was horrible. Worse than a horror movie. So we left. We arrived in Syria and the taxicab dropped of off in the middle of the square and left. We barely arrived and we were already lost. We walked around asking people were the hotel was and each person we asked they gave us different directions. Like Tweedledee and Tweedledum from Alice in wonderland. We finally arrived there and discovered the Angelina Jolie and Bratt Pitt went to that same hotel the Shumans were staying at. Mum and me were scheduled to sleep at the house. We then met up with Minou at her hotel we drank a coffee and then hop we started walking. In my entire life i have NEVER walked so much. And even the most comfortable shoes (in this case Converse and Birkenstock) gave us all blisters. But it was nice to see the old souk and all the kind of kiosks. It was really nice. By the end of the day we were exhausted. Mum and me decided that we were going to sleep in Minou's hotel room. Her single's room to be more precise.
The second day we woke up in hysterics. In the hotel room there was two beds stuck together. Minou slept in one, Mom in the other and me? In the middle. I woke up i couldn't move my butt. Mom took one glance at me and she burst out laughing. Minou then woke up and had the exact same reaction. Why? I was stuck in between the two beds and my side was touching the floor. But what's really surprising was that i was extremely comfortable. The rest of the matinee was all formalities and walking from one office to the other. I would tell you exactly where we when to do what but i have absolutely not a single idea. Then when we finished at around 1 thirty we met up with the Shumans. We had lunch at Mona Lisa. Your grandparent's home. It was nice. A lot of the time I thought of you. You would have loved being with us. So the main reason we went there was for the damned formalities that didn't finish on Sunday (we left Broumana Saturday were supposed to be back the day the followed) so mum and me stayed until Monday. But ironically up nothing is done. But what ever.
I love you
Kisses
I miss you extremely
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