Letter 44

Hi Dad!
How are you? I feel like I'm a mist. A mute one at that. I feel like anything i say is irrelevant or stupid. I feel like what i say doesn't matter. I don't know how many people today just ignored and some times stopped me short in the middle of my sentence to say something random or even change the subject. Teb have the curtsy to at least let me finish these two last words then do whatever you want. I'm sick and tired to always be the one listening. Will some one listen to me? Just for a change. Really, i promise i don't say anything too boring or uninteresting. I'll try not to be stupid or lame. But just hear me out for a moment.
I feel stupid. Really i do dad. I can't help it. It's that feeling again thew one you can't chase away.
I love you my daddy
I miss you more everyday
A million kisses

Thank you for listening to me. I feel your presence and your love. I really do.

Letter 43

Hi Dad!
How are you? I can't take it anymore. Everyone's obsessing about their weight. Really it's not about health anymore, and it's getting on my nerves. That's how young people start to be paranoid and start to be anorexic or bulimic. There are girls that are thin as paper that want to go on a diet. Now what triggers the thought of being overweight? The omnipresence of the friggen subject on everyone's lips! Really. One day, the same day, TWO teachers, two DIFFERENT teachers comes to class and talked about weight, diet, fat foods, our body, our muscles, and all that crap bullshit.
I can point out to you, which teacher stapled her stomach, which one did a gastric bypass (ou un anneau autour de l'estomac pour reduir sa taille). It's everywhere and it's not healthy to hear about it 24/7. I really can't take it anymore.
I know people that tell me to loose weight do it for my own good. But they should know that constantly hearing about it does nothing but depress me more and make me more uncomfortable in my own body and more self-conscious than i already am. I sometimes feel disgusted with myself and make me feel horrible. It's not like i don't know it. It's not like i'm lying to myself every time i look in the mirror. I KNOW it. Just stop. Stop looking at me. Leave me alone. I'm guilty enough as it is. No need to add to that pressure.
I love you and miss you so
Your Symz

I'm so sorry...

Letter 42

Hi Dad!
How are you? I miss you! How's everything going where ever you are? I hope everything is well, and that you're happy.
Yesterday, mum and me went to Rasha's exposition. It was really nice. Some people's art is just breathtaking. For example Emi Miyashita is just unbelievable. She hung 4 drawings -i think- pencil on paper and hung next to each one a magnifying glass (really funky ones). You look though it and see the tiniest details. What i really can't wrap around my head is the fact that it's all pencil.
Rasha's photography is amazing. Really. i don't really know what to say. It's just like... I admire her so much. I really hope i turn out as talented as her.
I have to go study...
I love you my dearest daddy.
No one misses you as much as i do...
Kisses

Update

I thought maybe you'd like an update on Batroun House. Here are some pictures...

A memorie

Do you remember when you used to be in Lebanon we used to fight over who sits where on the kitchen table? I miss that...