How are you? I’m quite pissed off but mostly hurt. And the worst thing about it is that it’s mom that’s making me feel this mad. Yesterday, I went down with her to Beirut and stayed with her in the atelier. Then I went to have lunch with my friend. Before I leave she tells me that I’m coming back up with her because she doesn’t want me to take a cab. And without hesitating I said okay because I know how she feels about spending money on cab rides. So I hung out with my friend for less than an hour. Ok, never mind. Mum has cards at 3 and she’s been working a lot and needs to have fun. That night I was supposed to go to a restaurant in Sahl Alma because some of my friends were supposed to play in a charity concert for the Children Cancer Center. I know it’s very far and mum asked me not to go because it would be a waste of money. I didn’t argue, even though I really wanted to go. On our way back, I remembered there was a shop near by how sells computer games and I’ve been dying to get a specific one. I called and they told me they had it. We were a bit more that 200m close to the store. But mum said no. She was going to be late for her 5 hour long card game. Pap, I know it seems like nothing but I’ve been complaining how much I feel alone when I’m at home. How I have nothing much to do. But no 10 minutes late to her precious card game is intolerable. Ma3leh if Syma has nothing to do. No one to talk to. No where to go. Fun isn’t it? The worst bit is that she doesn’t care one little bit about anything in my life. No that I want to go out of her way to sit next to me and ask about my day. I just want to feel like she cares, just a bit. It’s really starting to get to me.
Now is not a very good time in my life because I feel cheated in so many ways. Even though I’m trying to convince myself otherwise. Anyway, I love you pap.
I miss you everyday a bit more (Although you’d think you can’t miss someone anymore than you already do)